Many parents, especially first time parents, can quickly become overwhelmed by their overtired state as it creeps up slowly and there doesn’t seem to be any reprieve in sight. Teaching your baby to self settle may be a blessing in surviving the first few months or years of parenting.

Now I want to clarify that this is not an article on controlled crying. That isn’t something that I wish to promote. Teaching your baby to self settle isn’t really about teaching so much as providing them with the best opportunity to learn. A baby, who is content, has a full tummy, is relaxed and has a familiar routine will be more likely to settle themselves off to sleep through the night as opposed to a baby who has a tummy ache, is over stimulated or over tired.

The first few weeks or months of a newborns life is spent feeding and sleeping in a bit of a random order, but if you can follow closely and work out what your baby’s habits are then you will be able to gently guide them into a routine. Does your baby feed straight after a sleep or do they wake and play first? When do they usually do a poo, is it straight after a feed, do they sleep better after this? Establishing a routine will definitely help in the long term and if it is based around your babies natural habits it will be more effective. Our babies routine from about 4 weeks onwards was sleep, feed, burp, play followed by more sleep. This worked really well and was on a 3 hour cycle. We found that the hour or two that she was awake following a feed was enough time for her to get all the wind up from her feed so that when she was worn out enough for a sleep she did not have a tummy ache to wake her. She would sleep peacefully and wake when she was ready for another feed.

Having a particular method of putting your baby to sleep can also help instill a routine. The baby has certain things that they associate with sleep. It is most likely to involve you but it could also involve the things that you do to help soothe her to sleep such as rocking, singing or things such as a pacifier or a certain toy. Once they have made this association they think that this is what is required to get to sleep so to make things easier for you try to be consistent.

Set up a particular room that you take the baby to put them to sleep and do the same routine every single time that you are home. For us we used our study. As soon as she showed any signs of being tired (rubbing her ear, rubbing her eyes or yawning) we would change her nappy and take her into the study. I would just assume the position, cradle her in my lap and gently sing or rock her off to sleep. She usually nods off within a few minutes; I wait until she is in a deep sleep and then take her to her cot. I have been doing this for so long now that when she comes into my office she assumes the position and closes her eyes straight away. She is familiar with the sounds, the smell and the comfort.

Once your baby is comfortable with the fact that they are going to go off to sleep and have established a routine where they are not overtired, they don’t fight sleep and are happy to spend time in their cot, you will find that they are more likely to self settle or self soothe if they wake during their sleep. Eventually your baby will learn to fall asleep on their own, if put to bed awake, although don’t have unrealistic expectations that this will occur anytime before they are two years old or you might be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Establishing the routine during the day follows on to have a positive effect at nighttime. By putting your baby to sleep at the same time each night they will begin to realize the difference between day and night, especially if the routine involves play during the day and not during the night.

By the age of 10 – 16 weeks your baby should be able to sleep through the night without waking for another feed providing they have fed just before bed. If your little one has a substantial feed around the same time each evening, approximately 10-12 pm, this should be sufficient for them to last through the remainder of the night until they wake in the morning. Ensure that they are burped properly, that they have a clean diaper and are in comfortable clothing. If they do wake during the night, try to settle them back down without a feed first. Sometimes a night time feed can cause more wind and give them more reasons to wake every night.

Using these techniques we managed to get our baby to sleep through the night from the age of 8 weeks. I still prefer to rock her to sleep before I put her down for her nap; it only take a few minutes and is a time for comfort and bonding for both of us. Ian is able to put her into her cot when she is tired and she will put herself to sleep without crying which still amazes me. My only advice is that if you do manage to get your baby to sleep through the night, don’t tell your friends – it is the easiest way to make enemies in your mothers group!

Toddler Interpreter teach Baby Signs and they offer the best Free Baby Sign Language Chart  available online and their Baby Sign Language Book is used by parents and childcare centres in the United Kingdom, USA, Canada, Australia and New Zealand to Teach Baby Sign Language. Sign Language for Babies is easy using Toddler Interpreter’s comprehensive Baby Sign Language Dictionary. Sign Language for Toddlers can help reduce frustration and Baby Sign Language has proved very beneficial for Premature Babies, children with Velo Cardio Facial Syndrome and other babies at risk of developing a speech delay.